haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my mouth tastes like poor choices
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
