I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so let's talk penis.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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