I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize