I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
