I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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