he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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