were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There r osticjed everywhere
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize