Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
