You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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