Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
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i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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