Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I am mentally ready for anal.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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