so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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