Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
