would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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