I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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