don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I touched a dick in church today
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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