I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize