We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
