I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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