I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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