come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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