I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize