Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize