There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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