And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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