how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
