That's when you crack a 10am beer
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
