I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
