Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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