you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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