Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she peed on how many people?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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