he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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