is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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