I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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