She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
