so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
