I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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