Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize