I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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