She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
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Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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