from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Randomize
