I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
