i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
