I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
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that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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