Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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