you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
