dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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