East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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