East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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