Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
