You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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