thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Boobs are out for the taking
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
