How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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