you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
