You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
