In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
