I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Two words: blizzard sex
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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