its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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